"Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, and always perseveres."
Last saturday, to celebrate the most-oft over-rated St. Valentine’s Day, I did do some musing on the meaning of Love. Not (just) about the eros type of love, but perhaps more importantly, about the philia and agape ones. The one written up there, and if you want to know from where I got that quote, it is actually the core teaching in Christianity, taken from the New Testament.
My oh my… I have to say that I’m not innocent in the crime of love! I’ve done the contrary of the quality of love mentioned there! Ok, so I try to be patient and kind, I try to not delight in evil, and I try to be truthful. It’s not easy, but I do try, really. As for being envious, boastful and proud, no self-seeking, for me they are even more difficult. Then, many times I have found my self getting angry to people I love because of what is actually a small thing, making a big deal of it. And though I easily cool off ( :S after some rantings), I still cannot rid myself of what’s bugging me, hence keeping record of wrongs. No, don’t get me wrong. I am not vengeful. Unfortunately, unless the so-called ‘guilty’ people apologize (which is obviously not often), it just stays inside.
Luckily though, as time passes by this record recedes, replaced with understanding. Back then when I was still in high-school, one of my dear brothers once told me: try to understand others instead of always want to be understood. Well, it made a big impression on me and since then I’ve kept it alive.
Back to the crime list. I haven't mentioned the other one: not being rude. Now in my opinion THAT is the hardest thing of all. Long time ago, I received a forwarded email from some mailing list. The email recounted a story about a mother who realized that she had been rude to the person who matters a lot to her: her son. You know, children and their curiosity ask and do lotsa thing, just like this lil boy. His mother, instead of understanding and answering, she most often ignored or snapped at him. Until one time, after many snappings, the child with hurting eyes and trembling lips asked why she always does those things only to him; never to strangers on the street, never to other children, never to her friends, never to his teachers. Then the child turned, shoulders shaking, and walked slowly away. At that point, the mother then realized how badly she treated her beloved son, and this time, her little angel has reminded her on what love really means.
Wonder what it is to do with me? Allora, like that woman, I many times treat rudely people that matters to me (particularly my own parents and other family members, even my partner), from the mild rudeness of ignoring – like a considerably small thing of not replying ASAP messages, letters, phone-calls whatever, putting it off while hiding behind excuses of work, study etc – until the blatant one of snapping at them. Rude in all kind of sense whether deliberately or unintentionally.
And so… Instead of saying the obvious “I love you”, I’m putting things in black n white for my beloveds to read: Sorry for having been rude…